Back in the day, you were a lonely person, sitting all by yourself. I knew you didn't want help, but the way you looked at people struck me. You looked at them as if they were giant objects about to crush you at any moment, with a hidden apprehension behind those eyes. I respected you for being able to hide that fear in plain sight.
I approached you, but I didn't talk. I just stared, as if I knew you. There was an instant connection. At that moment, I foresaw the future.
The world was cruel to you. I wanted to build a safe place for you, with me. Even though you were alone most of the time, you could come to me and drop your smile that itched to be dropped.
You were a smart kid, academically. In terms of other intelligence, you needed guidance. You were confused about the world, why it was so bad to you. Nevertheless, you were quiet but had this positive look. It was real. Life was hard for you, yet you could smile as if the hardest battles in your mind weren't happening.
You sparked the entirety of the world for me. You were like the aroma after pouring hot water into my cup of coffee, my favorite scene in a book that I will never forget. The vivid light in the shadow, your eyes became the way to go out. Your eyes reflected how hard it was for me to pull my sight away from you. An expression you'd always tell me: melancholy.
We were the same. The same situation, the same problems, the same feelings, platonically. I could see myself in you, wanting to be helped. Looking at you now, you've grown. Changed, but in all good ways. There was still something that didn't change at all: your eyes. They still secretly expressed the melancholy you told me about. We chatted.
We knew each other so well that even if we just sat in silence, it would still be comforting. Just you by my side. Every word would be an understatement of how grateful I am to meet you. To have you.
All it takes is one phone call. I am still waiting for that call. The way your eyes spoke to me while we looked at each other, you knew that I had somehow figured out what you were hiding behind those cold brown eyes.
Once you call me, the moment you say my name, I will drop everything and go to you. I have this sense of pride, but that pride would be sent to the ocean to be drowned. I would throw away the pride I built for myself, but only for you.
It wasn't hard to understand you. Precisely, it was easy for me to see your absence to the world. It's still foolish of me to think about this. But one thing is for sure, you are my most certain thing that I'd choose. Yet still, I'm continuing to stay silent.
One call. That's all it takes.
