That catastrophizing thinking of every scenario. Time will heal you, they say, but I’ve been waiting for too long for that time to come. Will I never be healed?
We become too reliant on that time, looking forward to when we will be truly fine. Okay, sure, when time passes you'll slowly be ‘fine’ again, thinking that we already forgot or moved on from those deafening thoughts. But the thing is, to rely is to be dependent.
Depending on time causes destruction once a bomb comes your way. One trigger, and all those days, weeks, months, and years that you thought you were okay because time finally came, unravel. No, you were never healed, you just ignored it. You thought that the time had finally come, the ending of the thoughts.
But one blink, just one touch of a ticking bomb, and it will all go back to square one—the suffering you experienced before. You relied on words without considering how it would affect you if it backfired.
“Time will heal you.”
Do you seriously think that you could rely on four words when the distress you're experiencing is much greater than that? You should work on overcoming it instead of relying on words that were never proven to be right.
Well, it might work for others, but just because it worked for them doesn't mean it'll work for you too. Waiting for that time to come is already a long process. If you do it too, what if you never make progress?
You heal yourself, not time. Some healed people just don't realize it, but they did all the work themselves. Time just came by.
It's just like wounds in real life. Time doesn't heal them. If you start taking care of wounds after they occur, they will heal faster. But if you give little to no care, they heal longer and usually leave a bad scar. Just because the wound you took care of healed faster doesn't mean it wouldn't leave a scar. It still would, but it’s so small. A bad scar can also still be taken care of with the right amount of attention and care.
One step you can take is to stop being fake. To yourself and to others. It's hard when you like pleasing people all the time. But what does it bring you? Nothing. It's hard making people think you're happy all the time; they won't take you seriously, and no one will be there in serious times. It's like that—they get too used to your cover that awkwardness overcomes them once you show a tiny emotion different from joy.
A little 'you' time wouldn't hurt. Small steps—it takes small steps to reach the bigger steps until the path to being healed, being okay, fully, opens its gate.
Healing is an active process. It's about confronting your pain, understanding it, and learning how to manage. Finding your own strength yourself, or with the help of other people.
Sharing to others might help, but remember, it's your decision to listen to them or not to. You're the one who opens each life path possible, it's your choice which way to walk to. Each small step you take towards healing is a victory.
Take the time you need, but don’t wait for time to do the work for you. You have the power to heal yourself. It’s your path to being okay.
Eventually we, I, will be okay.
