They say that being an only child means getting the best of all worlds: being the 'first' in everything, receiving all the attention, being spoiled by parents, and getting numerous gifts since all resources are directed toward one child.
I can't entirely deny these claims, but they are true in a nuanced way. An only child experiences aspects of being the youngest, middle, and oldest child, all rolled into one.
Talking about sibling stereotypes, an only child can relate to each of them at different stages of life.
As a kid, I got attention and was spoiled, much like the youngest child, because I was 'young and delicate' and needed to be protected. But like the youngest, I also felt the pressure to catch up to others and to grow up quickly so I wouldn't be left behind.
When I turned 11, I was left alone. Not that they paid much attention to me when I was younger, but I was given more space. A hug was considered 'cringe.' Just like the middle child, I wasn't technically a glass child, but I was left alone in my preteens. I had to do everything by myself because they wouldn't teach me. Their logic changed because I was starting to become a teenager. An only child, but their attention was directed toward my younger and older cousins. I was ignored, but I had myself.
Entering my teens was the worst, akin to the experience of the oldest child. The responsibilities I had to carry were overwhelming. Being a teen didn't change anything—I was still a child, their child. I wasn't even a full-grown adult, yet my life decisions were already discussed and settled. I should do this and that, so my younger cousins could live a good life, even attend a prestigious school. I had to do well in school to get noticed. Even when I entered my "rebellion" phase, I still thought about my grades when I wanted to do the opposite. Everything I did was to make them proud of me, but it was still not enough.
An only child, the only child, who isn't favored despite being the only one. The favorites are instead the younger relatives who bring joy to the family. Was I too serious in life? Did I strive too hard?
When you're young, you're easily deceived. That's what happened. With no one to protect me, lies spread easily. I was told lies throughout my childhood to control me, to make me obey. Of course, I'd believe those as a kid, but those lies were about real life. Now that I've grown up, my perception of reality is altered because I don't know what was real—they never told the truth.
Being the first in everything just means that they either prepared and expected you, or you came from total chaos, unexpected but born anyway. I was a mix of both. Not exactly, but somewhat.
We tend to distance ourselves from others because our trust hasn’t been formed yet.
-anyaseop
